We still have to live!
My Dad said this to me long ago while arguing about the costs of going to an out of state university. It took 20 years and 2 kids to understand what he meant.
Everybody deserves to be just a little bit selfish.
Once kids arrive, it's easy to give in completely to day-to-day responsibilities and drift away from the things that helps each person develop their sense of identity.
For me, those activities were snowboarding, dancing, and running.
Since the kids arrived, all three have largely fallen by the wayside, and I feel like I am slowly losing my own sense of identity as a result. My kids need and deserve my attention, affection, time, and love. I want to be a part of their lives, and I want to raise them well.
At the same time, completely leaving behind the activities that have largely helped me define myself doesn't seem to serve anybody well. For my kids to develop into happy, well-rounded adults, they need happy, well-rounded parents.
I no longer want do any of those activities to the extent I once did. Clubbing every other week? Forget it. Snowboarding 100 days a year? My knees can't handle that anymore. Running 2 marathons a year? My knees can't handle that anymore. Even so, I want to do each of those a little. Luckily, Charlotte (usually) understands, and off I go.
Everybody deserves as much.